Two ladies went through the custom check point after an oversea trip. Customer Officer found Lady A had seven branded panties in her luggage. When Lady A said the panties were not bought oveaseas, the Customer Officer asked: “Why do you need to bring seven panties on an oveasea trip?”

Lady A replied: “I do not do washing when I am abroad. Don’t you know that one week has seven days?” She was let go without having to pay tax. Customer Officer then opened the suitcase of Lady B and found twelve panties. When she insisted that she brought them from home, the Custom Officer asked: “Why do you need to bring twelve panties on an oversea trip?” The offended Lady B replied: “I also do not wash when I travel. Don’t you know that one year has twelve months?”

Sardar to Dr: when i sleep, monkeys play footbal in my dreams.

Dr.: no problem just take this medicine b4 sleep,

Sardar: kal se loonga, aaj raat final hai.

Sardar goes 2 a petrol pump sees a board ` don`t use Mobile here` Sardar picks his mobile,

calls evryone from his phone n says `DON`T CALL ME NOW`

Three men were chatting in the pub. The topic was on sports. The China Man from Taiwan said: “I have four daughters, one more I can form a basketball team.” The rich tycoon from Indonesia said: “I have five sons, one more I can have a volleyball team.” The third wealthy man from the Middle East has no children. After some hesitation, he said: “I have 17 wives, one more I can have a golf course.”

Eik sardar ney Auto Workshop kholi.

2 months guzar gaye par koi bhi theek karwane nahi aya!

Guess y??

Sardarji ne Workshop 5th floor par jo kholi hai!!!

Teacher to Sardar: “Name any five animals that live in water!”

Sardar: “Frog”

Teacher: “Very good, now the remaining four…”

Sardar: “Oye jii! Frog di maa, pio, pehn tay pra!”

“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him.”

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

OH NO! the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, How many is a brazillion?”

An old man and his young wife were getting divorce at a local court. But the custody of children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The old man also wanted the custody of his children. The judge asked for his side of the story too. After a long moment of silence, the old man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Judge, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or the machine?”

At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver his speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbled on it.

A guest seated next to the speaker said, “Your wife has sent you a KISS before you begin your speech. She must love you very much.” speaker replied,
“You don’t know my wife. The letters stand for “Keep It Short, Stupid.”

A doctor and a sardar love the same girl. The sardar gives the girl an apple to eat everyday.

Once asked why the sardar gives her an apple, the sardar replied: “AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!”

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.

The children fell to discussing the dog’s duties.

“They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster.

“No,” said another, “he’s just for good luck.”

Then a third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dog,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrant.”

Jon is working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, when he accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room.

The doctor says, “Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I’ll see what I can do.”

Jon says, “I haven’t got the fingers.”

The doctor says, “What do you mean, you haven’t got the fingers? It’s 2000. We’ve got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn’t you bring the fingers?”

Jon says, “Well, Doc, I couldn’t pick ‘em up.”

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. Baby stork is crying and crying, and father stork is trying to calm him, “Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”

The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, son is crying, and mother is saying, “Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.”

A few days later, the stork parents are desperate. Their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns, and the parents ask him where he’s been all night.

Says the baby stork, “Nowhere in particular. Just scaring the hell out of college students!”