It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone.
Since we didn’t want to miss the call, we didn’t have time to get dressed.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled,”SURPRISE!!!”
My entire family, aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there.
My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now”, she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!”
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,”Order! Order!”
The drunkard immediately responded, “Thank you, your honour, I’ll have a scotch and soda.”
Two ladies went through the custom check point after an oversea trip. Customer Officer found Lady A had seven branded panties in her luggage. When Lady A said the panties were not bought oveaseas, the Customer Officer asked: “Why do you need to bring seven panties on an oveasea trip?”
Lady A replied: “I do not do washing when I am abroad. Don’t you know that one week has seven days?” She was let go without having to pay tax. Customer Officer then opened the suitcase of Lady B and found twelve panties. When she insisted that she brought them from home, the Custom Officer asked: “Why do you need to bring twelve panties on an oversea trip?” The offended Lady B replied: “I also do not wash when I travel. Don’t you know that one year has twelve months?”
Sardar to Dr: when i sleep, monkeys play footbal in my dreams.
Dr.: no problem just take this medicine b4 sleep,
Sardar: kal se loonga, aaj raat final hai.
Sardar goes 2 a petrol pump sees a board ` don`t use Mobile here` Sardar picks his mobile,
calls evryone from his phone n says `DON`T CALL ME NOW`
Three men were chatting in the pub. The topic was on sports. The China Man from Taiwan said: “I have four daughters, one more I can form a basketball team.” The rich tycoon from Indonesia said: “I have five sons, one more I can have a volleyball team.” The third wealthy man from the Middle East has no children. After some hesitation, he said: “I have 17 wives, one more I can have a golf course.”
Eik sardar ney Auto Workshop kholi.
2 months guzar gaye par koi bhi theek karwane nahi aya!
Guess y??
Sardarji ne Workshop 5th floor par jo kholi hai!!!
Teacher to Sardar: “Name any five animals that live in water!”
Sardar: “Frog”
Teacher: “Very good, now the remaining four…”
Sardar: “Oye jii! Frog di maa, pio, pehn tay pra!”
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him.”
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”
OH NO! the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, How many is a brazillion?”
An old man and his young wife were getting divorce at a local court. But the custody of children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The old man also wanted the custody of his children. The judge asked for his side of the story too. After a long moment of silence, the old man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Judge, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or the machine?”
At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver his speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbled on it.
A guest seated next to the speaker said, “Your wife has sent you a KISS before you begin your speech. She must love you very much.” speaker replied,
“You don’t know my wife. The letters stand for “Keep It Short, Stupid.”
A doctor and a sardar love the same girl. The sardar gives the girl an apple to eat everyday.
Once asked why the sardar gives her an apple, the sardar replied: “AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!”
Do Pathan tree par beth kar gana gaa rahe thay, achanak eik pathan ulta latak kar gana shru hogaya!
Dosra pathan bolo: “Oye ulta latak kar kyu gaa rahey hoo?”
Pehla bola: “Mein ’side B’ gaa raha hun!!”
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