Viraan jagah
Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!
Girl: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nhe karoge?
Boy: Bilkul nhe!
Girl: To phir rehne do….
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Pehla Sardarji: Jab mein bohat chhotta tha na to mein Minar-E-Pakistan sey gir gaya tha! Dosra Sardarji: To tum zinda bach gaye ya murr gaye?? Pehla Sardarji: Yaad nahi, mein bohat chhotta tha na!
Sardar Apni GirlFriend sey: "Bano! Aaj raat aa sakti hoo meray ghar" Girlfriend: "Kyun??" Sardarji: "Aaj ghar par koi nahi hoga na" Girlfriend: "Theek hai .. aa jaongi.." Bano raat ko sardarji ki ghar pohanchi, to socho kia hua… ... … Ghar par koi nai tha!!! Isleya key har larkey kisi bandey sey rape honay key baad kehti hia, "Aye BHAGWAN!! Yeh tu ney kia kia!!!"
A man kills a DEER and cooks it up. He presents it to the family at dinner but doesnot tell the kids what it is. To help them find out, he gives them a clue, "I call your mother this very often!" The kids think for a while and then one of them exclaims, "DONT EAT IT Ek sawal.. 14 Feb ko log aisa kia kartey hian key 14 nov, exactly 9 mahiney baad Childrens day bana parta hia??!! (English: A question... What exactly do people do on the 14 of Feb that on 14 Nov, after exactly nine months, we have to celebrate Childrens Day!!) 2 Sardarjis looking at an Egyptian mummy. Sardarji 1:"Itni bandages!! Pukka Truck accident.(So many bandages, definately a truck accident!!)" Sardarji 2:"Aaho! Yahan to truck number bhi likha hia, BC1740!!(Aaho! Even the truck’s plate number is written, BC1740)" Eik plane mein Bush, Manmohan Singh aur Musharraf jaa rahey thay. Hum ne eik Batair pakra, pinjre mein dala, peechay sey nikal gaya! Phir pakra, pinjre mien dala, phir peechay sey nikal gaya. Ghussa aya, kata, pakaya, khaya, phir peechay sey nikal gaya!! Sardarji to a lady, "Mujhsey sey shaadi karo gi?" Lady, "Tameez sey baat karoo!!" Sardarji, "Acha, to aap mujh sey shaadi karein gi please?" A kid was playing with his newly bought play train. After every turn was completed the kid stopped the train and shouted, Station aa gaya hai! Jis ULLU KE PATHEY ko utarna hai utar jaey! Then he let the train go on the round and stopped it again at the same place. He shouted, Station aa gaya hai! Jis ULLU KE PATHEY ko utarna hai utar jaey! And so it went for sometime. Everytime the train stopped the kid would scream the same sentence. His Dad, sitting near him, got a little worried about the kid using bad language. He took the train away from him and scolded the child, Don’t talk like that! The kid started playing. The train took the same turn and stopped and the kid shouted, Station aa gaya hai! Jis ULLU KE PATHE ko utarna hai utar jaey! Pehley hee ek ULLU KE PATHEY ke waja se train aadha ghanta late ho gaee hai!
Once a sardar doctor calls his sardar patient on the phone and says ‘Hi, main bol raha hoon!’ The other sardarji replies ‘Kamaal hain, ithe vi main bol raha hoon!’ Doctor to Sardar: ‘Aapka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai!’ Sardar: ‘Hoga, zaroor hoga! 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!’
A Sardarji finds himself in dire trouble. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray……….. "Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto". Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. The Sardarji goes back to the temple………………… "Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and the Sardarji still has no luck!! Back to the temple……………… "My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I’ve lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won’t you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???". Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and the Sardarji is confronted by the voice of Lord: "SARDARJI, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST".
Sardarji zinda bach gaye kia?
More Urdu Jokes
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Aaj raat ghar par koi nahi
Bhagwan rape key baad kyun naraz!
What did daddy cook kids??
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KUTTI hai(It’s a Bitch!)"
14 FEB VALENTINES DAY!!
Sardarji how did this Mummy die?
Sab khush
Manmohan Singh bola, "Agr mein apna joota(shoes) India mein gira doon to poora India khush ho jaye ga!!"
Phir Musharraf bola, "Agr mein apni wardi(uniform) neechay Pakistan mein phenk doon to poora Pakistan khush ho jaye ga!!"
Phir Bush bola, "Agr mein eik dollar neechay phenkon to poora America khush ho jaye ga!!"
Pilot sab ki baatein sun kar bolta hai, "Agr mein poora plane neechay gira doon to poora dunya khush ho jaye gi !!!!"
Eik tha Batair
Tameez sey baat karo!!
Ullo Ka Patha
The kid sat silently for sometime and Dad couldn’t bear to see the sad innocent face. He returned the train back to him saying, Now son, don’t talk like that again.
Two Sardarjis
Lotto
His business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble.
Please Select the "CLEAN" category if you dont want to view the dirty jokes!
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